“Yes, we all know old-school plastic records have a certain charm. But so do old churches, horses, the monarchy, salt and shake crisps and pre-decimal coinage. That doesn’t mean we want the return of threepenny bits, droit du seigneur, witch burning and streets knee-deep in dung from the royal family’s horses, does it? The resurgence of vinyl is a symptom of the dread diseases of authenticity and nostalgia – the terrible co-joined twins of cultural decline.”