“Even you must admit that you are not what you were. Anyone whose memory reaches back even as far as the mid-’90s, when the theme to ‘Friends’ gave the Rembrandts a brief career in real-world pop, knows that. Recall the effervescent Latin pop of ‘I Love Lucy,’ the dark march of the ‘Dragnet’ theme, the hopeful soft-rock of the theme to ‘The Mary Tyler Moore Show.'”