“I bring plenty of adversity into their lives. … I mean, I’m a fun dad, but I’m a tough dad. They have to play a musical instrument while they’re under my roof, they gotta read all the time … I make them watch black-and-white movies, and foreign movies, so they have to read subtitles. … They’re like ‘Why?! Nobody else watches black-and-white movies.’ And silent films! I make ’em watch silent films. They’re being tortured.”