News of the discovery of these Gnostic manuscripts in 1940s Egypt – manuscripts that ultimately upended everything scholars had thought they knew about early Christianity – came with an all-too-colorful story: precious ancient books lying unnoticed in the desert for generations, exotic peasants engaged in blood feuds stumbling upon the volumes, a last-minute rescue from fire. Nicola Denzey Lewis points out just how improbable (and Orientalizing) it all is, looks at what we know for sure about how the codices were found, and works out a more likely, and more unsavory, story.