Cellist Stephen Isserlis is fed up with audience members who snooze, cough, or forget to turn their pagers, watches or cell phones off. “I do believe that the first step has to be taken by the audience – or rather, by that usually tiny minority who believe that, contained within the right to free speech, is the right to ruin concerts. I should advise them that, if they continue to ignore the warning signals, it is only a matter of time before a musician turns truly violent; and a cello spike or a piccolo placed in an inappropriate orifice could prove to be really quite uncomfortable…”