Playing the stock market is risky business, and let’s face it, it’s damn boring, besides. If only we could buy stock in, oh, say, the cast of Desperate Housewives, and watch it soar as the dork in the cubicle next to us chokes on his overzealous 200-share purchase of Geena Davis. That would be truly excellent. Hmm? We can do that? Oh. Very good, then.